The “Snow-White” Effect

I know this comes at a point and time where most people wouldn’t dare utter the other four letter “s” word, “snow”, but there’s a lot to be learned from it and I’ve been reminded of that lately.

Taking away the fact the distain most people have of snow, if asked to describe it, some may think it looks clean or bright or love the way it gently drifts to the earth like a snow globe. But is snow really as it seems? Is it really so lovely and pure? Is it just some floating cottonwood that comes from the sky? I would say no. Snow, in reality, is the complete opposite it portrays itself to be. Take for example, it’s clean. Sure, as long as you don’t find yellow or brown snow, it looks as white as the clouds drifting above. Don’t take it as face value. Do what most of us have done as a kid, put some in a container, and bring it inside to let it melt. Look at the water left behind. It’s actually quite dirty.

Now, take how you look at snow and then look at people. The “Snow-White Effect” came into play when I went to the GI about my stomach issues. He did what every other doctor has done, check my lungs, my heart, etc. What I didn’t expect was he would check my reflexes especially starting with the knee I had surgery on a month previous. I’m sure he got the surprise of his life when he hauled off and karate-chopped my knee and I about came off of the table. The only reason I didn’t was because my hands had a death grip on the sides of the table. By the look on my face, he immediately said, “I’m sorry.” Through clenched teeth, I answered him by saying that knee had surgery a month ago, to which he apologized profusely and made sure it was okay to check the reflexes on my left knee (and my reward was knowing I had quite good reflexes though!). Did you see what happened? It’s the “Snow-White Effect”. That knee was still tender and still healing but because I was walking without crutches, the specialist never gave it a thought. He saw the “clean and bright” exterior and obviously didn’t read the paperwork I filled out before the appointment.

I have a coworker who is so fun to be around. We laugh and joke, swap stories and might have gotten into a hilarious mess or two. She’s always smiling and always makes a hilarious story out of frustrations. It floored me today when she came into my cube, sat down, and her eyes proceeded to water. She talked about some hardships in her life which had been prominent and that she’s still struggling with. I busted out the Kleenexes and handed her one (and should’ve kept one for myself). We talked for a few moments and she let some of the built-up emotions go. After that, we got on to our work and laughter soon ensued. In the time I’ve worked with her, I was blinded by the “Snow-White Effect” even though I should have known better. For a brief moment I saw her melted in a container, just like the snow from outside. I saw beyond the clean and bright exterior into more of who she is on the inside. Just because she laughs and smiles so much doesn’t mean her life is so easy.

I don’t care who you meet — whether you think they have it altogether or not, rich or poor, ecstatically happy or not — everyone has “the snow” plastered on their face. Every day, in a million different ways, people are dealing with the “Snow-White Effect”. No one can truly know everything that’s going on in my life by passing me on the street, nor can I know what everyone else is going through even by talking with them. Simply stated, everyone puts on their public face. I heard it called that recently and I believe it. We all put on masks to go out and meet people so they don’t have to see everything we’ve been through. No one wants to be defined by their struggles, or at least I don’t. I want people to know who I am. I want people to know I am the one that loves to laugh, try and see the good in the world, likes to smile, make people feel welcome, and a million other things that I can do to try and bring joy into this world.

All this to say, when you pass someone on the street or casually talking with someone be courteous to them. Unless they are your truest friends, and even then, you might not know everything they are going through. People can be crotchety at times, but you just don’t know what they are going through or what they just found out. Be kind and courteous and remember, everyone may be fighting battles and wars you don’t realize.

Keeping the perspective,
Lauren