For anyone who knows me know I’m a huge old movie (old music and old television show) type of person. When someone mentions a movie title and I don’t recognize it, they say, “Oh, it’s before your time.” To that I reply immediately, “When was it made?” They tell me in the 70s or early 80s. To that, I correct them and say, “It was after my time” (even though I was born in the late 80s). With my interests and likes I should have been born two generations earlier.
One of my favorite movies is Singin’ in the Rain. Normally, I’m not a major musical person, but I enjoy this movie immensely. The talent in dancing, singing, and some musical numbers are amazing. I laugh so hard at with movie. I love comedy and of course, a touch of romance! Because of this movie, I love going out and sing, Singin’ in the Rain, in the rain. The other day I had to learn a different way to sing in the rain. This way wasn’t literal and much harder.
For about a year and four months I have been dealing with pain. It started with my knee, then my wrists, elbows, shoulder, and ankle. Thankfully not all of them had been at one time but all that pain takes a lot out of a person. Each ache hasn’t fully gone away because it comes and goes. My knee on the other hand, has always stayed with me. It has plagued me constantly, sometimes a bit better and sometimes a bit worse, but it has been my constant companion up and down stairs, bending, or just walking. I’ve been in physical therapy since January 2012 working out mostly four days a week before work. Day in and day out, exercising has been the name of the game.
At this point, I am more than ready for surgery. Even if I have to go through six more months of dealing with my knee in pain because of surgery, I’m ready because after that the pain would be gone. I’m ready to be done with the pain and actually have something fix it. I can’t begin to tell you the number of “let’s try this” and “let’s try that” I’ve heard. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for those because it has narrowed down what doesn’t work, but there is a point where enough is enough! Last week Monday, I went to the surgeon. She wanted one more MRI to be done because it had been over a year since the last one. The MRI was scheduled the following Friday and the follow-up appointment was scheduled about a month away. I could wait another month after waiting a year and four months already. That I could handle. It’s no big deal.
The Thursday in between my surgeon appointment and the MRI, another appointment took place with the rheumatologist. She was looking at all my aches and pains, not just my knee. The doctor I had was very knowledgable, asked me questions, and truly listened to me. I thought everything was going along just fine with the appointment ending with the usual, “I’m not sure why this is happening” and just wait it out type of report, I was wrong. The verdict came in. I have Joint Hypermobility syndrome (JHS) /Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS), and with that report I saw 95% of my chance at surgery go out the window.
The long and short of JHS/EDS is, I’m too flexible. My joints stretch beyond where they are supposed to and it wears my joints out. And when I say my joints, I mean all my joints: jaw (and no, I don’t talk too much), ankles, shoulders, knees, wrists, etc. That is why my whole body at one point of another has been in pain over the last year. It explains a lot. It also explains why I don’t have as much energy as a person my age should. One part of this syndrome is that a person doesn’t sleep well because of all the dreams and never hitting that deep sleep. Which is quite funny because just a few days before, my mom had said to me, “You have the most vivid dreams!” Bingo! That answer just fit what I learned about myself. And maybe all those years I thought I was clumsy because I always seemed to be getting hurt? Well, that’s another piece the the puzzle that had been found out.
In a way, knowing what I have is a blessing. Knowing where to start, what to try and do to help, and what not to do are huge deals. I have a name for what has plagued me! It’s more than I’ve ever had. The other side of the coin is it can make me feel down in the dumps. There is no cure for this. Sometimes as the body becomes less flexible it helps, but that is mostly in older adults. Because of the way my joints are, surgery is not a good option because it won’t heal right most of the time. Goodbye quick fix for my knee. (Okay, does that sound weird when three to six months is considered a quick fix?) That right there is what made this whole diagnoses difficult. I don’t know what will go on with my knee and where to go from here. Three specialists: a physical therapist, a surgeon, and a rheumatologist should just have a conference call together because they all want to talk to figure out the best way to handle things. Whereas before in physical therapy I was leg pressing 300 pounds for 90 times, I’m down to a minuscule weight because the more weight isn’t good for me. I need just enough weight to maintain muscles.
I left the rheumatologist appointment, got in my car and cried. I couldn’t believe what I heard, because at that point, I only saw the worst. I couldn’t even call my mom right away because I couldn’t process it. The only thing I knew I needed to do was start singing in the rain. I sat in my car with tears streaming down my face singing praises to the Lord. I sounded like a cat with laryngitis and someone stepping on its tail (aka be thankful you weren’t in the car next to me). I sounded horrible as I choked out a few verses of a praise song but I knew that in the good and bad times, I needed to praise my Savior.
I don’t know why I have to have this, but I do know it could be a million times worse. As much as I wish all this wouldn’t be here or just go away, I know all things work together for God’s glory and good for those who love Him. I’m not turning my back on Him because He has been the strength to carry me through all my life but especially my stronghold and rock over the past year.
Singing in the rain doesn’t diminish what we are going through and the issues that life throws in our faces, but it does help keep a better perspective through life’s challenges. What might be something that you might need to start singing in the rain with? Try it. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.
Oh, and if you haven’t seen Singin’ in the Rain pull up a comfy chair, pop some popcorn, and watch it!
Keeping the perspective,
Lauren
You. Are. Beautiful. 
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