The interesting thing is this blog was done a while back, yet I’ve struggled pushing it live because I’m worried about it being perfect. What if something is wrong? What if something isn’t quite right? Well, that is so ironic because of what this blog is about. I can do the best I can and try my hardest, but from there — why worry? Why am I worried about other people’s thoughts when these are my thoughts? Not that your thoughts don’t matter, but to the point it prohibits me from writing, that’s not good. So, without further ado, I hope you enjoy!
I’m a perfectionist. I notice what I don’t do right, instead of what I do right. Sometimes I don’t try new things because I’m afraid of failing or not winning! You know how many things I’ve missed out because of that. Let’s just boil it down to this — I have missed out on fun activities, I’ve torn myself down thinking I fail all the time, I’ve worried enough to make my stomach ache, the list goes on.
I used to lay down at night and remember everything I did wrong when playing ball. If only I did this . . . if only I didn’t do that . . . it would drive me mad. All my mistakes would swirl around my head and make me feel like I’m a failure. I would put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, it actually gave me the opposite result. Even though I had the ability to play well, the pressure I put on myself stopped me from playing anywhere close to my potential. It sounds crazy, but it was the truth! Finally one game, I gave it up on the bus ride. I told God I had nothing prove. What was there to prove? Nothing, that’s what there was to prove. I gave the game to the Lord and didn’t worry about trying to be perfect or the opinions of others. I played for God and played to the best of my ability without pressure. Can you believe I had my best game ever that game? I was able to play like I knew I could play. I finally was able to show everyone else what I knew all along.
Let’s reverse the situation. What if you saw a friend dealing with problematic perfectionism? How would you handle it? Maybe you would like to shake them to get their mind clear of all that bad talk to themselves. You would like to hold them down and make them look at you while you yelled, “Look at all the great things you do! You’re talented! You’re amazingly kind! You are an amazing person! Look at all the things you can do and who you are!” Sound familiar?
If I saw another person putting themselves down and/or only seeing their mistakes I would be the one to put my arm around them saying it will be okay. Look at what you did! Everyone makes mistakes! Don’t worry about that minor detail! It’s okay.
So you now see my double standards plain and simple, yes? It’s okay for others to make mistakes but heaven help me if I make one. Doesn’t that seem a bit weird to you? Go ahead, tell me how crazy my thought processes are. Not only is it bad to think that way, but it’s not right. I give everyone else grace, but I give myself none? That doesn’t make sense.
I’ve been working on this here as of late. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be. I can continue to strive each day to be better than the day before and learn from my mistakes, but I know each day I will do something wrong. You know what? It’s okay! It’s okay if I’m not perfect and you’re not perfect. It does not make you or I any less of a person.
Don’t call yourself names if you mess up. A quote I heard and I truly believe it: “If you had a friend that spoke to you the way you spoke to yourself, how long would that person be your friend?” (Unknown) Be nice to yourself! Allow yourself the grace you deserve. Learn from those mistakes but don’t tear yourself down! What good does that accomplish in the long run anyhow? Let me tell you a secret. It does nothing! It can only harm.
Being perfect is unrealistic and just weighs a person down. It’s hard because perfection is engrained in me, but just like anything, I can control it. I can control my thoughts and easing up on myself. Balance is key.
Don’t worry about perfection; do the best you can. Don’t worry about what others may think of you. Be willing to have fun, let loose, even if you aren’t the best. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Every professional was first an amateur.”
You have to start somewhere. So start today and live life without all the constraints you put on yourself with having to be perfect.
Keeping the perspective,
Lauren
You. Are. Beautiful. 
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